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the aurora movie theater shootings on july 20th of this year compacted with a series of events in my own life, and ultimately lead to me writing an article about it all for the IFP. i realized that what these events really bring into question is the difference between ideas and reality, and where you choose to draw the line. here’s an excerpt from the article –

“march 23rd, 2012.
two kids get in a fight on the platform of an L train stop in brooklyn, new york. both fall in front of a train coming into the station. one of them leaps from the tracks just in time and flees the scene. the other is dragged down the platform by the train, right in front of my eyes. his body half under the train, his arms grabbing at the side of the train, his torso spinning like a propeller, his blood smearing down the side of the carriages. i turn away in disbelief, my brain numb as people run past me screaming in tears, vomiting as they run. there?s one girl standing still in front of me as everyone rushes past both of us. she?s looking at me, her face all wet, her eyes pleading at me as if somehow i can provide an answer. the best i can do is not look at her.

the kid is still alive. there?s a woman crouched down by him trying to help him in whatever way she can. unsure about what i can do i turn and leave. halfway up the steps i curse at myself, and turn back. a few of us gang together try to push the train away from the body, so we can get him out. it?s a hopeless exercise. soon the fire department arrives and we are all ejected onto the streets.

people are opening their front doors and letting those clearly in shock come in and rest a while. i call my friend, whose apartment i?d just left 15 minutes before, and he talks me through it. he invites me back over to his, but it seems to make more sense to walk home alone.”

you can read the rest of the article here.